So despite how I was happy about being a week clean it didn't stay, last night I had a conversation with my sister just about stuff but then it turned bad and she said I don't work hard enough and I need to work hard if I want things because she is like and A/A* student and is really clever and then their is me who is getting B's and C's and I'm only decent at the "crappy" subjects like dram, photography and dance. So yeahh it made me feel so worthless and crappy it just made me relapse but I used the blade from my pencil sharpener and it just wouldn't stop bleeding so I just curled in a ball and just wished for it to be over. I woke up in the morning with blood on my hands (not the nicest thing to wake up to. But yeahh it just made me realize how fragile I am and how my mood can just change so quickly, people just need to realize that and just be careful around me or just leave me alone because I can't hurt anyone if I'm alone apart from myself. But yeahh I have felt like this before and I hate feeling that way. Feeling empty and worthless. I just wish I was someones first choice for once in my life... just once To not be annoyed at myself. It's always about my sister though she is perfect, she is polite, clever, caring and stunning. My parents got their perfect daughter and then there is me which I don't even want to talk about. I want to be wanted. For who I am and not who they wish I could be. For the way I look. Why am I always the one on the sideline?? I'm nothing.
Anyway I just wanted to say to a very special person stay strong and I love you lots. I know it's hard right now but we will get through it together :*
But that is enough about me I want YOU to talk about me about your stories. I want you to send me artwork, music or just anything that you want me to post on my blog. Even if there are topics you want me to talk about or even for advice.
Email: sazza985@gmail.com
Instagram:enna_depression_and_cuts
Stay Strong <3
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