So things have been on my mind recently that I just need to get off my chest... God I hate people sometimes people annoy me and confuse me and just mess me up basically, every time someone hurts or makes me happy i just change completely, my life has changed so much in three/four years,
So yeahh things i have to get off my chest... To a person who might know who they are, i am talking to you as I am writing this but i hardly ever speak to you, I think we both know you don't want to talk to me or see me so who are we kidding, three/four years ago things ended, well a friendship ended very suddenly, I didn't understand why and if I am honest I was angry about it but it just made me the person I am today, a person who is too scared to throw herself into a relationship due to the fear of someone just leaving without a reason and just not looking back, it wasn't just your fault it was also due to someone else who did virtually the same thing, But hey I might not like the person who I am today but I can't change it. Even though you came back (after three years) it's still in my head and with me and I wish it wasn't, I know I am/have been a bitch to you and then sometimes nice it's because I don't know what to do, I know you lie to me virtually all the time and you know that I know, hence why we argue about it a lot but I want to sort it out... I try to but either you ignore my messages or if I am honest I just don't think you care, but enough about that because I know you will read this.
ANYWAY... I am feeling so emotionally and physically tired, I am not even joking :') But I was reading my (short) diary from 2013! it was interesting to be honest it just showed how emotionally unstable I am :D the first day I say "I am the happiest I have ever been" then it gets to the second day and the opening line is "well that was a pisstake" :') and to be honest it just gets worse and worse from there on I just get more and more unhappy, but there are good part they just get very rare. But I have decided that I am going to start writing my diary again I am going to buy a new notebook tomorrow and I just want to start writing things down cos it help so does talking to people about things but that never happens so a diary it is :) I have been getting really dizzy though recently I am pretty worried about it but when I tell my parents they just ignore me worried much :/
Anyway end of the rant... for today :P
Love all of you guys <3
Sorry for like ranting all of the time I promise things will be more positive tomorrow :*
Enna xxx
Songs!!!!!!
because we both knew that it was all lies... :/
And finally...
No comments:
Post a Comment